Yes, this was big enough that I actually needed a note. Here comes the scorn, because feminists are apparently the scum of the earth. If you decide to read this, who knows, you may learn something or your opinion may change.
Tl;dr = you’ll never have to see another rant from me, I’ll spare your eyes from any future discomfort by quickly banning you.
It really amazes me that people treat “feminist” like it’s a dirty word. You can’t dare label yourself a feminist, as if it’s synonymous with “psychotic man-hating lesbian,” and people will disregard everything you say as reverse-sexism against men. To the women who scoff at feminism - I used to be one of you. Then I realized I didn’t know what the goddamn fuck I was talking about.
I’m doing something most people won’t do. I’m admitting that gender equality will probably never be a reality in my lifetime. Why? Because people are content. I can wistfully hope that one day, men and women and the *ideas* behind what makes someone a “good man” or a “good woman” will change, and we will not only genuinely appreciate whatever insignificant perceived differences exist between us, but rather appreciate what really matters: our similarities.
We are mostly the same, and that is what matters.
This will probably never happen. Why? Because humans like emphasizing differences they perceive in each other. That’s why children analyze other children, searching for any difference to mock, no matter how small. People act as if change is inevitable, and will happen without any action from you, or I, the individual just standing by watching the world move along.
“The future does not exist. It has not been made. It is made only as we make it. The question we should be asking ourselves is what sort of future do we want?”
I’m speaking mostly to men here. But aren’t some women sexist, aren’t some women misandrists (haters of men)? Why don’t I go lecture them? Simply because women aren’t in control in this country or any other in the world, so women can’t do much about gender inequality. You can’t say women could have given themselves the right to vote and the right to a change in our society when men were the ones writing the laws.
Women can protest all they want and nothing will ever change unless men stop scoffing at feminism and fight for equality with them. Yes, there are male feminists, and most are proud to call themselves such. No, they aren’t “faggots.” Actually, let me talk about that for a moment, since people are sooooo convinced sexism doesn’t exist anymore, and statistics and studies and social science doesn’t help convince anyone anymore…
What is “androcentrism?” An easy way to explain it is “sexism that exists in the air we breathe, that we never notice because it seems normal.” It’s viewing the world, speaking about the world, behaving in the world, from a primarily male perspective. It’s when the default is the male point of view, and we judge everyone by male standards, ie “Do you have a penis, or can you act like you do? Yes? Right this way~”
Let’s talk about insults for a second. I mean the popular insults, the ones we use for the most general situations against people we want to degrade just because we don’t like them or something they’ve done or said. Not situation specific insults like “asshole” (someone who is unnecessarily mean or rude).
What is the *absolute worst* name you can call a woman? That one word you better not say out loud in public, or else people will gasp?
“You’re such a cunt.” Now, exactly what is a cunt?
Repeat after me: “A cunt is a vagina.”
Now, what are the worst names you can call a man? The words that will make any respectable male feel just a little bit insulted no matter how they try to hide it?
Pussy? Bitch? Douche bag? Faggot? Pansy? Sissy? Little girl? Cock sucker? Think about the definition of each of those words, and consider what they have in common.
“Dude, you’re such a pussy (feminine). Fight me you little bitch (feminine). That guy is a fucking douche bag (vagina cleaner). You’re a faggoty little cocksucker (feminine). Don’t be a sissy (feminine)! What’s wrong, stop being a pansy (feminine)! Stop being such a little girl (feminine)!”
So. We insult men by associating them with femininity - things that women and gay men do (suck dick), and call them female genitalia? And at the same time, we insult women by, wait for it… calling them a word that represents female genitalia.
Now, what does that tell you about how we view female genitalia, and femininity? If you want to degrade someone you essentially call them a female. The only logical implication here is that in this language, “being a female is considered bad.”
Which is more uncommon: a man being called a “pussy,” or a woman being called a “dick?”
“She’s such a dick!” Sorry, but I’ve never heard that one before.
It’s actually the opposite: You respect a woman who wears a suit. You laugh when a man wears a dress or a skirt. Being masculine is the standard - being feminine is considered falling short of the standard, and worthy of insult. Masculine behavior gets women complimented, while feminine behavior in men gets them mocked by others. The sexualization of women is a topic I consider separate but related to this - I won’t get into it now.
Now, let me tell you why this is important, why this leads to sexist beliefs that we aren’t even aware that we have, and why we’re comfortable with that.
Let’s name some qualities. Which list do you think is stereotypical of women, and which is probably talking about men?
1. “Strong. Independent. Tough. Non-emotional/Rational. Self-Confident. Aggressive. Hard. Cold.”
2. “Weak. Dependent. Sensitive. Overly emotional/Irrational. Self conscious. Submissive. Soft. Kind.”
Now, this time, let me make a list of qualities that we generally associate with stereotypical strong leaders who make good decisions, and stereotypical bad leaders who make bad decisions.
1. “Strong. Independent. Tough. Non-emotional/Rational. Self-confident. Aggressive. Hard. Cold.”
2. “Weak. Dependent. Sensitive. Overly emotional/Irrational. Self-conscious. Submissive. Soft. Kind.”
In case you couldn’t tell, number 1 is what we think of as a stereotypical man. Number 1 is also what we think of as qualities belonging to a good leader. Number 2 is a stereotypical woman, and number 2 also has qualities we associate with weak leadership.
Now, how do you think the idea got into your head that a good man, and a good leader should be “strong, independent, tough,” etc? Common sense? What is common sense? Tradition? Common sense and tradition don’t just randomly spring up into existence. Common sense changes continually. People in ancient Rome thought it was common sense that it was fun as hell to watch people fight to the death and be eaten by lions. People in pre-Colombian South America thought it was common sense to sacrifice people to their gods. People throughout history thought it was common sense that women are essentially slaves. Why did they think that way? The Mayans woke up one day and said “Hey, you know what? Let’s fucking cut out people’s hearts, fuck yeah!”
No. It started with someone, one person, having an idea. And someone else agreed with that idea.
That women are essentially slaves” bit was a stretch? Tell that to Aristotle, St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, Montesquieu, Rousseau… the people who came up with the things we learned in school, the “common sense” we currently have. Aristotle, father of western philosophy, logic, biology… St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, the most influential Christian philosophers aside from Paul and Jesus himself, from which doctrines like “Original Sin” and the “Trinity” arose. Montesquieu, whose ideas practically formed the United States. Rousseau, French Philosopher/writer/developer of modern political and educational thought who wrote things you learned about in history class, like the “Social Contract” and “On Education.”
Don’t believe me?
“The male is by nature superior, and the female inferior; and the one rules, and the other is ruled.” - Aristotle
“Woman is defective and accidental… and misbegotten … a male gone awry.” -St. Thomas Aquinas
While defending republicanism, Montesquieu (you know, the guy responsible for most of western political philosophy) warns us about “too much gender equality,” and says that it would lead to disaster: “Wives, children, slaves will shake off all subjection. No longer will there be any such thing as manners, order, or virtue.” Yeah, the world will fall apart if women are allowed to make decisions. We may as well set all the slaves free! Crazy talk!
”_______ are the sex that ought to obey.” - Rousseau. See if you can guess which of the sexes goes in the blank there. You have one guess.
Now, imagine that I want to talk to my fans about something. Most of you are male, but I have many fans that are female. I say “Hey guys, what’s up?” and no one even blinks. None of the females look at me strangely, even though I addressed them all as “guys.”
Let’s talk about the word “man” for a second. You read in a textbook something like “It is the nature of man to use tools to solve problems.” In that statement, clearly the word “man” also includes females, right?
What if I say “Hey girls, what’s up?” Or what if I said “It is the nature of women to use tools to solve problems.” I must be specifically talking about women, and only women, correct? Why? Because it isn’t normal, “Hey girls” is not the default.
Are you going to try to tell me that it’s different when it’s “Hey guys,” and that the word “guys” and the word “man” also includes females? What if I said “Hey black people.” Could I laugh it off when my non-black fans look at me strangely, and say “no no, when I say ‘black people’ I actually mean everyone!”
If you’re going to try to argue to me about a supposed increase in women in traditionally male dominated occupations, please go look at some figures before speaking. They’ll tell you exactly what they tell social scientists, which is “the vast majority of law makers, political leaders, military leaders, doctors, lawyers, professors, chief executives, and millionaires continue to be men,” and that when women enter the workforce they have stiff limitations to how much they can advance (scientific term is “Glass Ceiling) as well as how much they can get paid, despite the leaps and bounds everyone thinks we’ve taken towards gender equality. I don’t consider the 39 women that have been US senators since the 18th century out of 2000+, the current 76 female Representatives to 362 males, and only FOUR female Supreme Court Justices achievements that we should celebrate.
To those of you who say things like “fuck feminism, go equality!” consider the fact that men wouldn’t have even thought about giving women rights if they hadn’t said anything. Feminism is not a philosophy that favors women over men. It’s a philosophy that says “women matter just as much as men.” In our society, that isn’t true, and that is a fact that we can decide to do something about, or do nothing about.
If you consider yourself a decent man (ie one that “respects women as equals” and one that “holds no sexist beliefs,” as many of you think is true of yourselves), if you can name 6 women in your life that you cherish or admire (your mother, your sister, your neighbor, your best friend, your girlfriend, your coworker, your teacher), and if you don’t agree with the idea that one gender should be considered “superior” or get special treatment, you should call yourself a feminist.
Why? Don’t feminists really want female superiority and special treatment?
First, stop trying to pretend that there is no inequality - if it is painfully obvious to sociologists that males are the dominant gender in every country, in every culture, in every place in the world today, take a moment to ask yourself why you’re pretending like feminists are imagining sexism? LA LA LA, I’M NOT LISTENING! That’s what you’re saying in face of the facts. Feminists aren’t the ones doing the studies. Feminists didn’t create the statistics. Feminists didn’t get together over coffee and invent terms like “Patriarchal society.”
The people in power are the ones who make the changes. Men are in power. Usually people in power don’t like when they have rivals for that power. That’s why there isn’t equality, no matter how much you want to deny it, it is what it is. To make this abundantly clear, YES, I am saying that women are not in power because why the fuck would men want to be ruled by women when they’ve been ruling throughout history, all because of that 7% difference in muscle mass? That small difference in muscle mass could get a caveman to make a cavewoman do what he wanted, and that started the precedent - me man, you woman. Me go, you stay. How many female multi-millionaires are there? How many female professional athletes short of Olympic gold medalists get significant, consistent recognition? How many women get the priority for managerial positions before other equally qualified men are considered? Regardless of whether or not it sounds like I’m making men look bad, reality and history are what they are, and I’m not the one who made things this way. Men are the ones who wrote all the books about “male superiority, male dominance, and the innate inferiority of women.” Those exact fucking words. Feminists say, “actually, that’s kind of bullshit that we don’t get paid as much as you,” and men scream “REVERSE SEXISM! WOMEN WANT SPECIAL TREATMENT!”
Men are the ones who wrote our laws. Men are the ones who decided that women were property. Women didn’t write the books on female inferiority. Women didn’t write religious texts that command women to serve men, that command men to beat women when they won’t behave, that command the townspeople to stone rape victims who didn’t scream loudly enough during the rape.
Aristotle said that the role of a woman in a family is to “please and service the man,” that they shouldn’t have free speech, and that “to a woman silence brings ornament.” St. Augustine said that an ideal woman should “take the brutality of her husband with silence and kindness” until she is so disfigured that her husband feels guilty, and admired his mother for saying that a marriage license is by definition “a contract to slavery.”
Talking about sexism makes people uncomfortable. People automatically get defensive, as if you accused them of beating a woman just by bringing it up. “Not all men are pigs!” Why so defensive? Reality is rarely a comfortable thing.
Let’s acknowledge some things about sexism before we leave:
1. There is NO nation where women are equal to men. Social scientists all agree that this is an indisputable fact, why don’t you? “Shut up, women already have equality in America!” Less pay, less opportunities, less representation in government, higher rates of domestic abuse, higher rates of sexual assault, higher rates of poverty, is NOT equality. You can do all the intellectual acrobatics you want to try to explain how these issues are irrelevant, or try to prove somehow that the statistics and studies are lying, but that only makes you look ignorant and validates my point.
2. Social change doesn’t happen when people say “other people will do something about it.” Social change never happens without protest, without anger, and has never happened without violence. The price for social change has always been blood. People fight and die for justice. Remember that.
3. Pretending that sexism doesn’t exist, gender equality has already been achieved, and feminism is irrelevant is the same as being a proud misogynist. You don’t care about inequality because you happen to be getting the better deal, or are completely ignorant of reality despite everything that studies and history have shown.
4. Pretending that males are not the dominant gender in our society and every society, and pretending that males do not carry undeserved privilege for being born male does not make these things untrue. Incidentally, the idea that allowing women to have access to the same privileges that have historically been exclusive to men (for example, leadership positions) is the same thing as “special treatment” is also utterly misogynistic on top of being ignorant as all hell.
Equal is not special, and you may not realize but this applies to civil rights and racial equality as well (which is also not currently a reality). It must be nice living in fantasy land, where society is wonderful and everything is fine..
5. Sexism is inescapable in a patriarchal society (I’m calling it what it is). It’s trusting a male doctor over a female doctor for reasons you can’t really explain. It’s assuming that a male fire fighter will do a better job, that a male athlete is stronger, better, faster, and that’s a result of nature and not the exclusion of women in athletic competitions since fucking Classical Greece. It’s knowing all of the names of the male philosophers, male scientists, male leaders, because those are the ones in the books, because the books were written by men, and then saying women have contributed little of significance to human advancement. It’s calling a girl a slut when she sleeps around, and calling a guy a guy when he does the same thing. It’s yelling at your son not to cry, and letting your daughter cry. It’s saying “boys will be boys” when your son does something bad, and thinking your daughter is out of control if she did the same thing.
Sexism is thinking that because one woman willingly takes her clothes off, everything feminists fight for is invalid and irrelevant. It’s thinking that if a woman dresses provocatively, she’s asking to be sexually harassed or assaulted. It’s accepting the “1 in 6 women will be raped” statistic as normal, like there’s nothing anyone can do about it, and then calling this country “civilized.” It’s ignoring the fact that most of the population that are below the poverty line are women. It’s ignoring the facts altogether and pretending it doesn’t matter, because you think it doesn’t affect you if women are second class citizens in every country in the world and facts can be uncomfortable.
It’s not realizing that if suddenly, in some country in the world, a group of men were suddenly prohibited from driving, from going to a hospital because doctors aren’t allowed to look at or touch you, from leaving their home without an escort, from walking outside without a veil, from speaking unless spoken to, and if suddenly men were being circumcised with broken glass and sharp bits of aluminum, we would go to war with that country.
Wake the fuck up already.